Running from God

Running away from God is easy.  

 I've been doing it for the last few months. Initially, it wasn't intentional. I got busy.  Life began to unfold in its usual way: people, events, everyday nuances webbed together making time a rare commodity.

 Time. It was something I wanted more of and could never get enough of.  

Unconsciously, I slowly began to ease away from God. Soon, I noticed a difference in myself. A sort of callous aura enclosed my being. I was being hardened and I felt.......difference.  I was behaving in ways I knew I shouldn't.  I was being easily influenced by external factors that usually wouldn't reach any significant threshold with me. Instinctively, I began making prayers for a closer relationship with God; but nothing happened. The gaping distance continued growing and I began to feel a sense of shame: a feeling of knowing better but not being able to achieve better.

Now the intentional running began. 

I was weary of trying to no avail and began to give into complacency. Although I didn't have time to devote to longer prayers, reading the Quran, or dhikr...I was praying 5 times a day and asking God for a closer relationship, I felt that it would be enough. I was doing the bare minimum and telling myself that it was O.K. I was going through the motions without exerting any real effort. I subconsciously justified my complacency by thinking: "If I'm trying (asking for a relationship with Him) then I should be fine". But I wasn't fine and I knew it, no matter how much I tried to ignore it.  

Running away from God is easy. 

But the perfect thing is He never runs or leaves us. He only provides us with a plethora of opportunities to get closer to Him. 

Right on cue, I found myself in a bind. Things in my life were getting overwhelming. Feelings of anxiety, doubt, and uncertainty inundated me. I needed solace. I needed an escape. In desperation, I turned to Him earnestly and I called onto Him, as I had always done. These honest conversations I had with Him at my weakest point made me realize why my previous "trying" was not working. These conversations were from my heart, I needed Him and I called for Him with my being and my soul.  It wasn't just words uttered in hopes of a quick fix. It was a true understanding and submission to the only One who could truly ease my burden and lighten my load. I began calling to Him to soften my heart, praying and surrounding myself with Him and His word. I began prying myself from the life that had complicated our relationship. Taking the time to worship sincerely, to remember and to appreciate His mercy and blessings. It was then I began to see the change in myself and I began to feel close to Him once again.

Running away from God is easy. 

He never leaves us no matter how much we ignore, disregard or forget Him. He is always there when we need Him. Life will always throw things in our way, it will get complex and will demand all our time. We must always remember that our relationship with Allah is most important. It is what strengthen us to survive. It is our peace, our solace.

One of the most important achievements we can make is to develop a balance between our worldly affairs and our relationship with Allah. This takes work and dedication. It takes an awareness of self and an understanding of our expectations and individual limitations. We need to know when we are falling out of balance and to pull ourselves back. We need to grow and cultivate our relationship with our creator daily. We should avoid falling into mundane daily prayers instead we should maximize our multiple opportunities during our busy day to converse with Him and to draw close to Him. We must not function by words alone, we need the intention and then the action to effect change within ourselves, our hearts and our environment.

18 Sources of Barakah

Chinua Achebe (1930-2013)

Last week, Chinua Achebe died.

One of the most prominent authors in African history, his critically acclaimed book Things fall apart has been read all over the world.

I remember reading his book The Trouble with Nigeria which  analyzed Nigeria and the issues that the growing country faced. This book inspired me (and still does) to care about the future of my country, to question the problems it faces and strive to bring about change.

Living a life not without controversy, Chinua Achebe will forever be remembered as a giant of Africa who used his talent to tell the much needed story of Africa by an African. 

Wrote the classic book Things fall apart

Achebe with Mandela

Young Achebe!

Al Rahman, Al Raheem

Throughout the day, we tend to say Bismillahil Rahmanil Raheem ALOT. During prayers, before we start things and more. Plus Al Rahman, Al Raheem is said in every Fatiha we say.

All my life, I've always know Rahman to mean "Most Gracious" and Raheem "Most Merciful".  Generic but simple and clear.

Well, pardon me for being slow to get it- but they both stem from the same root word= Rahima 

DUH!!!! My hindsight is reeling and slapping me for just now getting this OBVIOUS thing.

Rahima (رحم) : To love, have tenderness, have mercy, pity, forgiveness, show goodness, and favour. 

Rahman and Raheem both stem from this word all about love and mercy. They are the same word BUT they are also different.

Rahman (رحمن) is love and mercy that is given before we ask, without regard to our effort. Allah, being Al-Rahman, gives us love and mercy before we ask for it. We surely did not ask for our eyes,mental faculty and such but we are given it. In the Quran, the Quran is referred to as Rahman, a mercy. A holy guidance given to us even though we did not ask for it. Rahman is any mercy and love Allah has given us, is giving us and will give us regardless if we ask for it or not. Amazing!

Certainly, defining it as "most gracious" is not enough.  

Raheem (رحيم) is love and mercy given to us when we ask or as a result of our actions. It is what Allah bestows on us based on our deeds and our prayers/supplications.


Rahman is what we are given even though we did not ask or didn't even know we needed. And Raheem is what we are given because we wanted it and worked for it. 

I thank Allah for all the blessings He has given all of us, the ones we know and those we don't know. Ya Allah, please continue to be merciful to us and shower us with blessings. Amin

Jumah mubarak!

Say: "I am but a man like yourselves, (but) the inspiration has come to me, that your God is one God: whoever expects to meet his Lord, let him work righteousness, and, in the worship of his Lord, admit no one as partner. (18:110)

Free

Hannah, the mother of Maryam (Mary) is SUCH an admirable woman. One of the female role models in the Quran, the story of Propher Isa (Jesus) begins with her and a little, yet mighty, prayer she made to Allah:

Behold! When the wife of Imran said "O my Lord! I do dedicate unto thee what is in my womb for thy special service so accept this of me for thou hearest and knowest all things" (3:35)

Jesus's grandmother, Hannah was a devout woman. As a barren woman, blessed with a child, she doesn't indulge in worldly ambition rather she turns her dedication to God. She looks to the one who blessed her with the child and prays that her child works in His service. She prays that her child be a special server of Allah. Most times, while engrossed in the Dunya we lose sight of Allah. Many parents deter their children from dedicating to Him. Children are encouraged to only focus on being a professional, i.e doctor, or lawyer or engineer. Some are reprimanded for doing "too much" or changing their ways. But here is a strong woman, who acknowledges the importance of her child living its life in the service of Allah. Masha Allah, it is a behavior to emulate, to enact.

Specifically, Hannah prays that her child is a مُحَرَّرًا which comes from the root word Harra حَرَّ. Harra means to be free. A free person.

Hannah was neither a slave or forced into any sort of indentured servitude, so it might seem strange that she prayed for a free child. However, the freedom Hannah was referring to was freedom of the mind. She prayed that her child would not be a slave to the Dunya. As culture and religion interplay, one can get lost in the maze that it creates. We lose our ability to fight off the culture and focus on Allah. Hannah knew this too well from living in society. Hannah wanted a child who was a free thinker, who would be free from the shackles that culture places on the soul. She wanted her child to be able to know Allah and submit solely to Allah. And Allah granted that prayer.


I read about Hannah and I know that I have to be better. With each blessing I receive, my dedication should be to the one who blessed me with it. Trust me, I don't do it often. Carried away with the pace of life and satiated in the Dunya, I forget to dedicate each blessing however small to the creator. Reading about this strong, devoted woman who was able to be above it, inspires me to be BETTER.


How do we acknowledge our blessings from Allah? How do we use them?

Everyday miracle

My very existence is a blessing. We are everyday miracles upon the earth.

I sat in traffic few days ago, irritated by the mass of cars surrounding me and the time ticking away. In that moment, sitting there in idle chaos, I became so aware of myself. A eureka moment that happens so often and is so easily forgotten due to the stress of life. I sat there amazed by my eyes, ears, beating heart enclosed in my chest, my blood that ran through my body, basically my entire being. If you have ever studied human biology/physiology, you must have been bombarded by all these facts about our body. The way our heart is designed to function so efficiently. The pathway of our blood. Our beautiful brain that sustains our higher thinking. We are everyday miracles. Wonders upon the earth. Created so specifically, and uniquely. Alhamdulilah.

"And He has given you shape, and made your shapes beautiful" (64:3)

Lets slow down today. And think about the miracle and blessing that we are. And thank Allah for it. Alhamdulilah for our beautiful body.  It is a gift from the one who knows us best and loves us most. He has given us what we need. And Alhamdulilah for the blessing to realize it and be grateful.